Proverbs 12:25-26 “Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
A few days ago, Christian recording artist Mandisa was found down in her home in Nashville. According to her father, she was suffering from the lasting effects of COVID-19 (weakness), but the Cause of Death (COD) has not yet been released.
Speculation in the media, and perhaps among her friends, was that her death might have been self-inflicted, the result of an ongoing struggle with mental health and depression. The Christian Post referenced an interview with Mandisa from a few years ago when the singer spoke out about her struggles. In the original article, she said, "I isolated myself, I didn't want to talk about it, and I battled with the shame of feeling like I didn't have enough faith or that God was displeased with me."[1]
This blog is the first in a series of Isolation. I want to discuss the issue of isolation for people dealing with Mental Health and expose some of the causes and solutions. Mental Health affects people regardless of social status, age, race, gender, or size of their bank account, yet people who are below the poverty line tend to have more stress and struggle with depression and other forms of mental health versus other segments of the population.
Likewise, trauma has a direct impact on a person's mental health and can be amplified by isolation. I talked about the goals of building resilience in my blog on the iceberg. Some of those tools apply here as we deal with the issues below the water line regarding mental health.
There are three reasons people with mental health become isolated, and there often is a compounded effect when more than one is present. Let me say up front: isolation is harmful to and unproductive for a person’s recovery.
1) The person becomes isolated due to the mental illness itself.
Let's be honest: when you feel depressed, the last thing you want is to be around other people. Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and many other mental health concerns will cause a person to isolate as part of the illness. It is often because the processing aspect of our brain wants to shut down, not deal with anything or anyone that might add to the issue.
People with mental health concerns will not just isolate themselves but will withdraw from social life as well. They will sleep a lot and suffer from fatigue. For them, it feels like they just fought off a 400-pound grizzly bear, and they are not sure who won the fight.
Solutions: If you are suffering from a mental health issue, realize your need to interact. Seek help from family and friends. This is a great reason to have a loving church family that can be your support network. I know that reaching out for help can be like swimming to the surface of an ocean filled with molasses, but you need to use your survival instincts and push on.
Families and friends can help best by what I often call the “Ministry of Presence.” The person dealing with mental health issues does not need your advice unless they ask for it. They may not need intervention or rescuing from their crises. What they need is someone to listen and be there for them. They need to know they are not alone and that you can be trusted to support them as they navigate the emotional and mental gauntlet.
2) People isolate themselves due to the stigma associated with having mental illness.
This is a big one because no one wants to be labeled as “Crazy.” People will hide their depression or other mental health concerns simply because of fear of rejection and being stereotyped. The shame of dealing with mental health can make a person feel weak or less than a human.
Mandisa said, “I didn't want to talk about it, and I battled with the shame of feeling like I didn't have enough faith or that God was displeased with me." People often think one of these two reasons is why they have their issues, and I promise the little voice (and Satan) will reinforce the feeling that “Real Christians don’t have mental health issues; you are weak. If you just had more faith, this would not have happened to you.” Other people think their issue is because God is mad at them and is doing this to punish them.
Let me assure you that both of these reasons are lies, and you should never believe them. We live in a broken world where sin and disease rule. Because of the fall, sin, and death entered the perfect world; therefore, each of us must deal with that consequence daily in our own way. Mental Health is just one of those areas where we will struggle; it does not mean it is due to sin or God’s retribution.
Solution: If you are dealing with mental health, do not believe the lie; you are not broken or crazy; you live in a broken and fallen world. It does not reflect how God feels about you; He loves you and is there for you. Being ill is not a sign that God does not care. In fact, you are made in the image of God, and He dearly loves you.
If you have a family member or friend who is dealing with mental health be supportive, be careful of what you say, and do not tease or say things like, “I always said you were a little crazy.” Work to break down the stigma and realize that anyone can deal with various forms of mental health.
3) The judgment of others pushes those with mental health concerns into isolation.
I will admit that the church and pastors are the number one offender in this area. Often, it is done without thinking about it, and it is just part of the pastoral mindset that it must be spiritual. This is likewise connected to the stigma and shame of having a mental illness, compounded by poor judgment on the church leaders' part.
I have heard pastors say that the issue is sin, and repentant prayer can solve it. Others denounce the use of medications, counseling, or even biblical counseling. In a world where people need real help from the church, cognitive behavioral therapy is a great option. Christians should not feel ashamed or afraid to talk to their pastor about their mental health and should receive help and support.
When I was pastoring in Pennsylvania long ago, I had a church member come talk to me about her depression and the fear of taking medications. She felt that it might be unchristian to take medication. She really struggled with stigma and needed both support and encouragement. I assured her it was appropriate to take prescription meds just as anyone would use medication to treat high blood pressure or hyperthyroidism.
The church needs to be a support network for those dealing with mental health and not a barrier. When the counseling is greater than my knowledge or skill level, I have a good Christian counseling group to which I refer people. I am not totally against secular counseling, but I prefer someone grounded in God’s word.
[1] https://www.christianpost.com/news/police-give-update-on-death-of-christian-artist-mandisa.html?utm_source=Daily&utm_campaign=Daily&utm_medium=newsletter
https://www.christianpost.com/books/mandisa-talks-battling-depression-mental-illness.htmlv
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