December in New Orleans

 

We are down in New Orleans with Sarah, her husband Brad, and our granddaughter, Elsie. While we will be doing some touristy things and eating some really good Orleans food, we are here for a much more exciting reason. I am graduating (finally) with my terminal degree, a Doctorate in Ministry (aka DMin), which is a practical degree (PHDs are research).

I was very concerned about the graduation service because I had seen it before online and knew how it worked. When the Doctoral Student’s name is called, they walk on stage, kneel on a prayer bench, are hooded by their Doctoral leaders, stand up, take a picture, and walk off. Sounds simple enough, but I have leg issues and cannot kneel; I can barely go up steps.

During our trip, I have already fallen twice because of uneven surfaces, so I am really concerned about the graduation. I expressed my concern to Dr. Johnson, my mentor, and he said We've got you, don’t worry about it. But what did that mean?

During rehearsal the day before, I noticed that we had to climb five steps to the stage. I was asked by one of the professors if I would like to just do the hooding on the main floor and not have to ascend the steps to the stage. Here, on the spot, my mind is thinking about the answer, and of course, pride is really playing a big part in my decision. Do I want to be the only person to be hooded on the main floor? Will my family be able to see? I came all this way; I want to do this and not feel different… But that is not going to happen.

The morning of graduation, I worked hard to steam my gown. It was light blue and looked really nice. I arrived at the gathering of seminary students to check in and wait. The registrar’s office (who oversee the graduation) told me that they realized the day before, when I turned in my hood, that I had obtained the wrong-colored gown and hood. So, now I have a “dark red” loaner gown! It came out of a bag and is wrinkled, so much for my steaming work.

Again, pride, fear, stress, and anxiety over how I will get on stage…

The last thing you want to do is be that guy, right?

The moment arrived; the doctoral students stood and approached the stage steps. I was told the usher would help me up the stairs. I am not sure he knew what he was going to get into helping me up. Once on the stage, Dr. Johnson held out his hand and walked with me to the center to stand and be hooded. Then he helped me walk down the steps, back to the main floor. It went smoothly.

Friends, this is a lesson in humility. It is embarrassing to need help walking and putting it on display for others. Note, I am not the only old guy, and others have mobility issues, but no one needed that kind of help. I learned two important lessons from the experience. First, the doctors (professors) went out of their way to help me receive my honors, without making me feel anything less than normal. Second, sometimes you have to swallow your pride for the sake of something better. And a third insight, I need to work on strengthening my legs in 2025.

Isolation, Ministry, and Death

Taken from Recent Headlines:

Real Life Ministries processes the suicide of Pastor Gene Jacobs.

California Megachurch Pastor Commits Suicide after Long Struggle with Mental Health.

Jarrid Wilson, a megachurch pastor known widely for his mental health advocacy, dies by suicide.

These headlines speak of several realities that I want to share with you today in this blog as part of my series on “Isolation.” I wanted to start this conversation by pointing out a hard truth that follows up my last two posts, which is that church leaders not only struggle with isolation, they struggle internally with mental health and often suicidal ideation.

Being a pastor has many reasons for isolation that go beyond the general population. Here are three reasons.

1)      They have no “true friends.” Most pastors will have people in the church who are “friends” until something happens. Otherwise, many pastors will have other pastors who are friends, but to be honest, other than meeting at pastor meetings, there is no true depth to these relationships. I have seen more times than I want to count when a pastor, including myself, has isolated himself with no real friends beyond my wife.

Something to consider is that in the back of a pastor’s mind is a voice that comes out when we talk to other pastors. This voice sounds like this: “It sounds like God is really blessing these guys; what am I doing wrong?” or “Is God angry with me because we are not growing like these guys?” Remember that in many ways, we are all in competition to reach and grow our churches from the same community.

Imagine if the owners/managers of McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy’s, and Steak and Shake all got together every month to support each other. What do you think is going through their minds? How are they sizing up the other guys in the room?

2)      The issues faced by a pastor are unique to the profession. They carry the weight of a congregation, and they are expected to perform while being a husband, father, and often employee (either at the church or an outside job).

One of the biggest stressors I had at least two churches was the fear of losing my job. Now, most people don’t understand because you can always go get another job. Yet, as a pastor, that means finding another church willing to accept you after being fired, moving your family, and dealing with the overall stress of being fired.

While I am on the topic, there is an unfair expectation and pressure on the children as well. They live in a fishbowl, and God forbid they act like normal kids. I have had more than one person point out the behavior of my kids (while their children were little monsters). The problem is that other parents do not have a biblical requirement hanging over their heads like the pastor does.

3)     They cannot have mental health issues because they are close to God! Pastor Greg Laurie remarked following the death of Jarrid Wilson, “Sometimes people may think that as pastors or spiritual leaders, we are somehow above the pain and struggles of everyday people; we are the ones who are supposed to have all the answers. But we do not.” “At the end of the day, pastors are just people who need to reach out to God for His help and strength each and every day,” he added.

But here is the thing: who can you tell? You cannot tell the people in your church leadership or your congregation because you will look weak. You don’t want to tell your wife; that will make things complicated. Isolation sets in because the mental health issue coupled with pastoral isolation leads to the exacerbation of the issue.

I am thankful that our association provides counseling for our pastors, but I think we need to let our pastors and leaders know it is ok to use the resource. Likewise, we need to develop ways to support each other beyond pastor gatherings that last an hour and deal with the brotherhood's superficial comradery. 

We must take care of ourselves and not allow the stress to build or allow Satan a demonic foothold in our minds. Pastors need to feel free to seek help. If you are a pastor or church leader dealing with stress, mental health or isolation, here are some resources for you.

https://www.pastortopastor.life/

https://church.focusonthefamily.com/s/resources/pastoral-care-line

The Pastor Care line - 1-844-PASTOR1 (1-844-727-8671)

Or Email me, and we can talk.

There is much more I could say, but I will save it for another day. See you next time... TTFN Pastor Tigger.

Isolation in Ministry, Part 2

Last time, I talked about Elijah isolating himself because he was disconnected from God. He was busy being zealous for God but was not personally connected to the life-giving source of the Spirit. So, he ran off and is now hiding in the mountain of God, Horeb.

Here is what 1 Kings 19 told us:

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Amid Elijah’s emotional state, he believes he is the only one who serves God. He believes that his life is meaningless. He is tired of doing ministry.

What does God do in this situation?

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Elijah is about to have an encounter with the living God.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Wow, don’t you wish the Lord would say to you, go out, and the presence of the Lord will pass over you?

I love what happens next, there are three events that most of us would expect to be signs from God.

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

A Windstorm, an earthquake and a fire, but God was not in them… Listen to what happened next.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

God spoke in a gentle whisper, not in a loud demonstration of His power, but in a quiet voice. Psalm 46:10a says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

What did the voice say? God asked the same question as before. Do not mistake the three events; they had a purpose, and they were to remind Elijah of who God is and His power. I think God had hoped the demonstration would serve as a way for Elijah to grow in his confidence and faith in who God is.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

In other words, Elijah, have you now found hope and purpose once again?

Elijah, unfazed, replies with the same answer as before, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Sometimes, when our mental health pushes us into isolation, we lose sight of who God is and His power. Sometimes, everyone around us will remind us of how great God is, and deep down, we know that truth. But that knowledge does not remove the dark shadow of gloom.

Elijah heard God’s voice and felt the earth move, yet he was unmoved from his mental state of depression and feeling lost.

The Lord responds to Elijah’s heartfelt answer with a few action steps to restore the prophet and reassure him that God is still in charge. He tells Elijah to go and appoint two new kings over the divided Israel. He told him to go and anoint Elisha as his successor (future replacement).

But, then, God addressed one primary concern or feeling in Elijah’s answer - I am the only one left. Elijah felt alone and had no hope because everyone had turned to worshiping false idols.

Look at what the Lord says in verse 18, “Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

This is a critical theological point: regardless of how we feel and how things might seem, we never know what God is doing in other people’s lives. God had reserved or kept 7,000 who had never worshiped a false Idol. Elijah, you are not alone!

Isolation can make us feel all alone but look to Christ, and you will see Him and His church with arms wide open. Trust Him; He has you and thousands of others just like you. You are Not Alone!

TTFN