Isolation, Ministry, and Death

Taken from Recent Headlines:

Real Life Ministries processes the suicide of Pastor Gene Jacobs.

California Megachurch Pastor Commits Suicide after Long Struggle with Mental Health.

Jarrid Wilson, a megachurch pastor known widely for his mental health advocacy, dies by suicide.

These headlines speak of several realities that I want to share with you today in this blog as part of my series on “Isolation.” I wanted to start this conversation by pointing out a hard truth that follows up my last two posts, which is that church leaders not only struggle with isolation, they struggle internally with mental health and often suicidal ideation.

Being a pastor has many reasons for isolation that go beyond the general population. Here are three reasons.

1)      They have no “true friends.” Most pastors will have people in the church who are “friends” until something happens. Otherwise, many pastors will have other pastors who are friends, but to be honest, other than meeting at pastor meetings, there is no true depth to these relationships. I have seen more times than I want to count when a pastor, including myself, has isolated himself with no real friends beyond my wife.

Something to consider is that in the back of a pastor’s mind is a voice that comes out when we talk to other pastors. This voice sounds like this: “It sounds like God is really blessing these guys; what am I doing wrong?” or “Is God angry with me because we are not growing like these guys?” Remember that in many ways, we are all in competition to reach and grow our churches from the same community.

Imagine if the owners/managers of McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy’s, and Steak and Shake all got together every month to support each other. What do you think is going through their minds? How are they sizing up the other guys in the room?

2)      The issues faced by a pastor are unique to the profession. They carry the weight of a congregation, and they are expected to perform while being a husband, father, and often employee (either at the church or an outside job).

One of the biggest stressors I had at least two churches was the fear of losing my job. Now, most people don’t understand because you can always go get another job. Yet, as a pastor, that means finding another church willing to accept you after being fired, moving your family, and dealing with the overall stress of being fired.

While I am on the topic, there is an unfair expectation and pressure on the children as well. They live in a fishbowl, and God forbid they act like normal kids. I have had more than one person point out the behavior of my kids (while their children were little monsters). The problem is that other parents do not have a biblical requirement hanging over their heads like the pastor does.

3)     They cannot have mental health issues because they are close to God! Pastor Greg Laurie remarked following the death of Jarrid Wilson, “Sometimes people may think that as pastors or spiritual leaders, we are somehow above the pain and struggles of everyday people; we are the ones who are supposed to have all the answers. But we do not.” “At the end of the day, pastors are just people who need to reach out to God for His help and strength each and every day,” he added.

But here is the thing: who can you tell? You cannot tell the people in your church leadership or your congregation because you will look weak. You don’t want to tell your wife; that will make things complicated. Isolation sets in because the mental health issue coupled with pastoral isolation leads to the exacerbation of the issue.

I am thankful that our association provides counseling for our pastors, but I think we need to let our pastors and leaders know it is ok to use the resource. Likewise, we need to develop ways to support each other beyond pastor gatherings that last an hour and deal with the brotherhood's superficial comradery. 

We must take care of ourselves and not allow the stress to build or allow Satan a demonic foothold in our minds. Pastors need to feel free to seek help. If you are a pastor or church leader dealing with stress, mental health or isolation, here are some resources for you.

https://www.pastortopastor.life/

https://church.focusonthefamily.com/s/resources/pastoral-care-line

The Pastor Care line - 1-844-PASTOR1 (1-844-727-8671)

Or Email me, and we can talk.

There is much more I could say, but I will save it for another day. See you next time... TTFN Pastor Tigger.

Isolation in Ministry, Part 2

Last time, I talked about Elijah isolating himself because he was disconnected from God. He was busy being zealous for God but was not personally connected to the life-giving source of the Spirit. So, he ran off and is now hiding in the mountain of God, Horeb.

Here is what 1 Kings 19 told us:

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Amid Elijah’s emotional state, he believes he is the only one who serves God. He believes that his life is meaningless. He is tired of doing ministry.

What does God do in this situation?

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Elijah is about to have an encounter with the living God.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Wow, don’t you wish the Lord would say to you, go out, and the presence of the Lord will pass over you?

I love what happens next, there are three events that most of us would expect to be signs from God.

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

A Windstorm, an earthquake and a fire, but God was not in them… Listen to what happened next.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

God spoke in a gentle whisper, not in a loud demonstration of His power, but in a quiet voice. Psalm 46:10a says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

What did the voice say? God asked the same question as before. Do not mistake the three events; they had a purpose, and they were to remind Elijah of who God is and His power. I think God had hoped the demonstration would serve as a way for Elijah to grow in his confidence and faith in who God is.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

In other words, Elijah, have you now found hope and purpose once again?

Elijah, unfazed, replies with the same answer as before, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Sometimes, when our mental health pushes us into isolation, we lose sight of who God is and His power. Sometimes, everyone around us will remind us of how great God is, and deep down, we know that truth. But that knowledge does not remove the dark shadow of gloom.

Elijah heard God’s voice and felt the earth move, yet he was unmoved from his mental state of depression and feeling lost.

The Lord responds to Elijah’s heartfelt answer with a few action steps to restore the prophet and reassure him that God is still in charge. He tells Elijah to go and appoint two new kings over the divided Israel. He told him to go and anoint Elisha as his successor (future replacement).

But, then, God addressed one primary concern or feeling in Elijah’s answer - I am the only one left. Elijah felt alone and had no hope because everyone had turned to worshiping false idols.

Look at what the Lord says in verse 18, “Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

This is a critical theological point: regardless of how we feel and how things might seem, we never know what God is doing in other people’s lives. God had reserved or kept 7,000 who had never worshiped a false Idol. Elijah, you are not alone!

Isolation can make us feel all alone but look to Christ, and you will see Him and His church with arms wide open. Trust Him; He has you and thousands of others just like you. You are Not Alone!

TTFN

Isolation in Ministry Part 1

In 1 Kings 18, the Prophet of God has just demonstrated that the true God of Israel is more powerful than the false god Baal. Elijah put 400 prophets of Baal to the sword. In the text, he is bold and taunts the other prophets, saying, ““Shout louder!” he said. “Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.” 28 So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed.”

Wow, this man of God stood up to the enemy with boldness and in the power of the Lord. Verse 46 says, “The power of the Lord came on Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.”

Yet, when we turn the page to chapter 19, everything changes. Verse one says, “Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

That should mean nothing to a man full of the Lord who just demonstrated God's power over the false god Ball. But that is not what the text says in verse 3a: “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life.”

Then the text tells us that “He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.”

Do you hear Elijah’s words, “I have had enough, Lord.” Then he laid down under a broom brush and fell asleep. I would say from the text that Elijah is struggling with depression.

But how could that be, considering everything that just happened? How could he feel this way when he saw God's supremacy demonstrated so powerfully in chapter 18? Because he lost being with God in doing for God.

We have been studying Emotional Healthy Discipleship in church. The key to the study is that we have become so busy doing church, teaching people about God, and serving Him that we have lost our personal connection with Him.

That is precisely what happened to Elijah and many people today who are involved in ministry. They become burned out from too much doing and not enough being with God. I know from personal experience that we can be so busy doing that we have no time for being in His presence, and then we begin to decline mentally.

Notice that in the middle of Elijah’s crisis, he fled and isolated himself from everyone, even his servants. When we become spiritually drained, we withdraw as the depression sets in.

But in the midst of his torment and depression, God stepped in. Verse 5b says, “All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” Verse 7, “The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.”

God sent help when Elijah needed it the most. The key is for us to recognize when God is reaching out to help us. We have to set aside our pride and be willing to accept His help.

Then Elijah goes on a long journey. 40 days and 40 nights of walking to reach Horeb, the mountain of God. But, even in this moment, after God has feed him twice, Elijah is still in the pit of despair.

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

¹⁰ He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Next time, we will see how the story ends… See you then.

TTFN