Why Grace Requires Recognition of Wrongdoing.

 

Alright, let's jump right in. Today, we're tackling a concept that can feel a bit counterintuitive but is, I believe, absolutely fundamental to how we process our brokenness and our hope: Grace. Specifically, the often-missed prerequisite for it.

The other day, I was in a situation that perfectly illustrated this. We had a couple of gents in our program who, despite clear guidelines, decided to play by their own rules. We're talking defiance, disrespect, and a hearty dose of "I'll do what I want." As you can imagine, I wasn't exactly handing out participation trophies. I called them out. Hard. Consequences were laid bare.

Later, my wife, with that gentle yet piercing insight wives often possess, inquired, "I thought you were going to show them grace?" 

I had to reply, “Grace isn’t a free pass; it requires a turning—a recognition of wrong.” Without that realization of wrongdoing, without conviction of sin, grace doesn’t have a foothold.

Grace, by definition, is unmerited favor. It's the idea that God loves us and desires to save us, not because of our good works, but in spite of our sin. However, if we do not acknowledge our sin, we do not see the need for God's gracious intervention. In essence, grace requires a recognition of our wrongdoing, a conviction that we have fallen short of the mark.

This is where repentance comes in. Repentance is not just feeling sorry for our actions, but a deliberate turning away from sin and towards God. It's a change of heart, a change of mind, and a change of direction. And it's precisely this change that allows us to experience the fullness of God's grace.

The Dangers of Cheap Grace

If we offer grace without the requirement of conviction and repentance, we risk cheapening the very concept of grace. We risk creating a culture where people feel entitled to forgiveness without taking responsibility for their actions. This kind of "grace" can actually enable continued sinful behavior, rather than encouraging transformation and growth.

In my conversation with the men in our program, I was firm because I wanted to impress upon them the gravity of their actions. I wanted them to understand that their behavior was not acceptable and that there would be consequences. However, my goal was not just to punish or discipline, but to bring them to a place of conviction, where they would recognize the error of their ways and turn towards a path of righteousness.

Grace isn't merely overlooking behavior—it's the power to change it.

However, when someone continues in defiant behavior after receiving grace, it does suggest they haven't truly received it. Faith without works is dead (James 2:17).

Is Conviction Our Job or the Holy Spirit's?

While we must maintain standards and boundaries, John 16:8 tells us the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin. Could there be a way to be firm about consequences while still demonstrating grace in your demeanor and approach?

What Does Grace Look Like in the Moment? 

Grace doesn't mean no consequences—but could it mean:

• Explaining why their behavior was problematic (helping foster understanding)
• Enforcing consequences with a redemptive tone rather than a punitive one
• Leaving the door open for restoration once they recognize the issue

Consider this example.

When Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery (John 8), He offered grace before her repentance was verbalized, though "go and sin no more" made the expectation clear. Might grace sometimes create the space for conviction rather than only following it?

Question for you: When’s a time you needed truth before mercy made sense?

 Until next time.

Pastor Tigger 

 

Flat Out of Obedience

Recently, I took a path I would never have considered. City Union Mission is looking for a new CEO. When people would ask me if I was interested, I would say, "I have a CEO job at a non-profit!" Never had another thought about it. 

In late April, I attended the Faith Incorporated Summit in Olathe. One of the great speakers at the conference was Alex Kendrick, who talked about his journey to making movies like "Facing the Giants" and so many others. One thing Alex said that stuck out to me and has come to my mind several times was "Sometimes God allows a dream to die, so he can resurrect it later." Put your finger right there, because we will be back. 

The very next week, I was at a gathering and was talking to someone about the Faith Incorporated Summit and what Alex had said. As we talked, I learned that Robert, one of the leaders of the Barnabas Group, who was hosting our gathering, was on the board at City Union Mission (CUM). Yes, he said what others had suggested: I apply for the CEO position, and I gave my standard answer, "I have a CEO job now."

I told my wife Tammy that night, as we were heading off to bed, about the conversation, and that the CEO thing had been brought up again. At about 3 AM, I woke up. Over the next three or more hours, I had a long conversation with myself and the Lord about all the reasons I could not be CEO. I finally said, "If this is what you want, then you have to show me the way."

That morning (the day after meeting Robert from the Mission), I had another training event with Barnabas Group, which brother Robert was in charge of hosting. Now, let me say that I put the sleepless night out of my mind and was ready for this seminar. 

When I walked in with my associate, Robert looked right at me and said, "How did you sleep last night?" 🤯 Yep, that actually happened. How on earth did the guy who asked me about the CEO position and is on the board know I was awake, wrestling with the Lord of that very thing? Before we left, I told Robert to put my name in as interested. I would leave it up to God.

Over the next couple of months, I would see Robert and get an update on the process. One day in late September, a friend who works at a different shelter texted me. It was a link. When I clicked it, I arrived at a page asking for names to be considered for the CEO position at CUM. This just kept coming back up. 

Yes, I submitted my resume and cover letter to the headhunters via email, and then waited in silence for a few more weeks. Since then, I have had two phone interviews and shared the story of that encounter with God. Why am I applying for this? Obedience! I cannot tell people to walk by faith and not be an example. 

 Between two of the interviews, I had breakfast with a pastor friend who has served on boards and been involved with searches himself. He knew I was struggling with what this would mean for my ministry if I were called to be the next CEO of CUM. He said, the test God is putting you through is ownership. ?? 

That is right, ownership. Do you have the faith and trust that he might move you from what you are doing at your church to another project, and trust Him to replace you for the next phase where you are?  Yep, right then that quote from Alex Kendrick came flooding back into my mind. This has been a test of faithfulness and obedience as I seek His will in this moment in time. 

I should hear something soon, as it has been presented to the board for their selection. At the end of the day, I am okay with whatever happens, because I know He is in charge, I just do what He has planned for my life and ministry. 

Friends, keep that faith and press on toward the goal in Christ Jesus.

Pastor Tigger 

 

I’m Back (Apparently That’s Still Allowed.)

 

It’s been… a while. Long enough that my last post now qualifies as an archaeological artifact. 🦴

But here we are, reunited, either because you stuck around, wandered back out of curiosity, or simply forgot to unsubscribe. Whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re here.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time debating how to return. Should I recap every month I missed? Should I craft a sweeping, cinematic update? Should I pretend I never left and hope no one notices the one‑year digital tumbleweed? 
After several rounds of this internal debate (and one staring contest with my blog, which I definitely won—blogs do not have eyelids 👀), I realized: I don’t actually need to catch up. I can just… start again.
That’s allowed. Really!

Trying to summarize the past year felt like trying to teach quantum physics to a cat, 🐱 technically possible, theoretically, but wildly impractical. So instead of a twelve‑part saga explaining where I’ve been, we’ll go with something simpler: I’m here now, ready to pick back up with the same mix of curiosity, humor, and human messiness as before.

Life doesn’t wait for us to catch up. It just keeps happening, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes chaotically. So let’s skip the guilt, the pressure, and the imaginary audience that judges our posting frequency, and just dive back in.

Here’s to fresh starts, second chances, and not overthinking the gap.

It’s good to be back.

 

December in New Orleans

 

We are down in New Orleans with Sarah, her husband Brad, and our granddaughter, Elsie. While we will be doing some touristy things and eating some really good Orleans food, we are here for a much more exciting reason. I am graduating (finally) with my terminal degree, a Doctorate in Ministry (aka DMin), which is a practical degree (PHDs are research).

I was very concerned about the graduation service because I had seen it before online and knew how it worked. When the Doctoral Student’s name is called, they walk on stage, kneel on a prayer bench, are hooded by their Doctoral leaders, stand up, take a picture, and walk off. Sounds simple enough, but I have leg issues and cannot kneel; I can barely go up steps.

During our trip, I have already fallen twice because of uneven surfaces, so I am really concerned about the graduation. I expressed my concern to Dr. Johnson, my mentor, and he said We've got you, don’t worry about it. But what did that mean?

During rehearsal the day before, I noticed that we had to climb five steps to the stage. I was asked by one of the professors if I would like to just do the hooding on the main floor and not have to ascend the steps to the stage. Here, on the spot, my mind is thinking about the answer, and of course, pride is really playing a big part in my decision. Do I want to be the only person to be hooded on the main floor? Will my family be able to see? I came all this way; I want to do this and not feel different… But that is not going to happen.

The morning of graduation, I worked hard to steam my gown. It was light blue and looked really nice. I arrived at the gathering of seminary students to check in and wait. The registrar’s office (who oversee the graduation) told me that they realized the day before, when I turned in my hood, that I had obtained the wrong-colored gown and hood. So, now I have a “dark red” loaner gown! It came out of a bag and is wrinkled, so much for my steaming work.

Again, pride, fear, stress, and anxiety over how I will get on stage…

The last thing you want to do is be that guy, right?

The moment arrived; the doctoral students stood and approached the stage steps. I was told the usher would help me up the stairs. I am not sure he knew what he was going to get into helping me up. Once on the stage, Dr. Johnson held out his hand and walked with me to the center to stand and be hooded. Then he helped me walk down the steps, back to the main floor. It went smoothly.

Friends, this is a lesson in humility. It is embarrassing to need help walking and putting it on display for others. Note, I am not the only old guy, and others have mobility issues, but no one needed that kind of help. I learned two important lessons from the experience. First, the doctors (professors) went out of their way to help me receive my honors, without making me feel anything less than normal. Second, sometimes you have to swallow your pride for the sake of something better. And a third insight, I need to work on strengthening my legs in 2025.

Isolation, Ministry, and Death

Taken from Recent Headlines:

Real Life Ministries processes the suicide of Pastor Gene Jacobs.

California Megachurch Pastor Commits Suicide after Long Struggle with Mental Health.

Jarrid Wilson, a megachurch pastor known widely for his mental health advocacy, dies by suicide.

These headlines speak of several realities that I want to share with you today in this blog as part of my series on “Isolation.” I wanted to start this conversation by pointing out a hard truth that follows up my last two posts, which is that church leaders not only struggle with isolation, they struggle internally with mental health and often suicidal ideation.

Being a pastor has many reasons for isolation that go beyond the general population. Here are three reasons.

1)      They have no “true friends.” Most pastors will have people in the church who are “friends” until something happens. Otherwise, many pastors will have other pastors who are friends, but to be honest, other than meeting at pastor meetings, there is no true depth to these relationships. I have seen more times than I want to count when a pastor, including myself, has isolated himself with no real friends beyond my wife.

Something to consider is that in the back of a pastor’s mind is a voice that comes out when we talk to other pastors. This voice sounds like this: “It sounds like God is really blessing these guys; what am I doing wrong?” or “Is God angry with me because we are not growing like these guys?” Remember that in many ways, we are all in competition to reach and grow our churches from the same community.

Imagine if the owners/managers of McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy’s, and Steak and Shake all got together every month to support each other. What do you think is going through their minds? How are they sizing up the other guys in the room?

2)      The issues faced by a pastor are unique to the profession. They carry the weight of a congregation, and they are expected to perform while being a husband, father, and often employee (either at the church or an outside job).

One of the biggest stressors I had at least two churches was the fear of losing my job. Now, most people don’t understand because you can always go get another job. Yet, as a pastor, that means finding another church willing to accept you after being fired, moving your family, and dealing with the overall stress of being fired.

While I am on the topic, there is an unfair expectation and pressure on the children as well. They live in a fishbowl, and God forbid they act like normal kids. I have had more than one person point out the behavior of my kids (while their children were little monsters). The problem is that other parents do not have a biblical requirement hanging over their heads like the pastor does.

3)     They cannot have mental health issues because they are close to God! Pastor Greg Laurie remarked following the death of Jarrid Wilson, “Sometimes people may think that as pastors or spiritual leaders, we are somehow above the pain and struggles of everyday people; we are the ones who are supposed to have all the answers. But we do not.” “At the end of the day, pastors are just people who need to reach out to God for His help and strength each and every day,” he added.

But here is the thing: who can you tell? You cannot tell the people in your church leadership or your congregation because you will look weak. You don’t want to tell your wife; that will make things complicated. Isolation sets in because the mental health issue coupled with pastoral isolation leads to the exacerbation of the issue.

I am thankful that our association provides counseling for our pastors, but I think we need to let our pastors and leaders know it is ok to use the resource. Likewise, we need to develop ways to support each other beyond pastor gatherings that last an hour and deal with the brotherhood's superficial comradery. 

We must take care of ourselves and not allow the stress to build or allow Satan a demonic foothold in our minds. Pastors need to feel free to seek help. If you are a pastor or church leader dealing with stress, mental health or isolation, here are some resources for you.

https://www.pastortopastor.life/

https://church.focusonthefamily.com/s/resources/pastoral-care-line

The Pastor Care line - 1-844-PASTOR1 (1-844-727-8671)

Or Email me, and we can talk.

There is much more I could say, but I will save it for another day. See you next time... TTFN Pastor Tigger.

Isolation in Ministry, Part 2

Last time, I talked about Elijah isolating himself because he was disconnected from God. He was busy being zealous for God but was not personally connected to the life-giving source of the Spirit. So, he ran off and is now hiding in the mountain of God, Horeb.

Here is what 1 Kings 19 told us:

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Amid Elijah’s emotional state, he believes he is the only one who serves God. He believes that his life is meaningless. He is tired of doing ministry.

What does God do in this situation?

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Elijah is about to have an encounter with the living God.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Wow, don’t you wish the Lord would say to you, go out, and the presence of the Lord will pass over you?

I love what happens next, there are three events that most of us would expect to be signs from God.

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

A Windstorm, an earthquake and a fire, but God was not in them… Listen to what happened next.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

God spoke in a gentle whisper, not in a loud demonstration of His power, but in a quiet voice. Psalm 46:10a says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

What did the voice say? God asked the same question as before. Do not mistake the three events; they had a purpose, and they were to remind Elijah of who God is and His power. I think God had hoped the demonstration would serve as a way for Elijah to grow in his confidence and faith in who God is.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

In other words, Elijah, have you now found hope and purpose once again?

Elijah, unfazed, replies with the same answer as before, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

Sometimes, when our mental health pushes us into isolation, we lose sight of who God is and His power. Sometimes, everyone around us will remind us of how great God is, and deep down, we know that truth. But that knowledge does not remove the dark shadow of gloom.

Elijah heard God’s voice and felt the earth move, yet he was unmoved from his mental state of depression and feeling lost.

The Lord responds to Elijah’s heartfelt answer with a few action steps to restore the prophet and reassure him that God is still in charge. He tells Elijah to go and appoint two new kings over the divided Israel. He told him to go and anoint Elisha as his successor (future replacement).

But, then, God addressed one primary concern or feeling in Elijah’s answer - I am the only one left. Elijah felt alone and had no hope because everyone had turned to worshiping false idols.

Look at what the Lord says in verse 18, “Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

This is a critical theological point: regardless of how we feel and how things might seem, we never know what God is doing in other people’s lives. God had reserved or kept 7,000 who had never worshiped a false Idol. Elijah, you are not alone!

Isolation can make us feel all alone but look to Christ, and you will see Him and His church with arms wide open. Trust Him; He has you and thousands of others just like you. You are Not Alone!

TTFN